Wednesday, 03 January 2018 06:16

Bingo Bypass Handicap Hurdle


As posted exclusively to members just before Christmas, this ante-post trade is now reaching its conclusion and what a contest it has been!

The book on Bingo`s By-Pass Hurdle (to give its shorter name) opened with a large field and presented traders with a number of opportunities in-running. As the event is now approaching the final furlong so to speak most of us would have exited our earlier positions with a few options still available to stay in the trade to eke out further profits. Here is a summary of this fascinating contest:

The leading runners in the market were Stroke, Amputation, Blood Clot, Death and Impotence, the latter a very real danger to this trader. Further down the field we had Parkinsons who was no great shakes frankly. Dementia, a foal out of Madness on the dam side, forgot to turn up. Panic and Anxiety, not unsurprisingly, attracted interest but were clearly out of their depth in this listed contest; worth keeping an eye on though in the upcoming "Who Gives a Toss" novice stakes.  Myopia and Cataract hardly got a look in. 

After a sluggish start where most of the runners appeared to be totally anaethetised, Stroke and Amputation never seemed to be in contention despite the going being in their favour, so the LAY to BACK traders should have exited with a nice green there. Likewise with Death who gave up the ghost early doors. Bookies, clearly in a festive mood, have offered to refund those who tried to back this each-way, citing the obvious fact that Immortality was not  an option. In an 8 hour race under gruelling conditions Blood Clot was generally present throughout in mid-division. Clearing the red would have been the best move there in my opinion. However, going about its business stealthily, Pneumonia suddenly made an impressive move up on the inside lung. Its stable mate, Exhaustion, while up with pace throughout yet, paradoxically, off it as well, began to ask serious questions on the by now strung out field. Impotence, the dark horse in the race, remained the only other challenger yet, oddly, didn`t appear to give a fuck. Backers of this, like myself, could have elected to let the trade run, depending on whether you felt a clean sheet was a possibility or not.

Nearing the finishing line, most of the field had either pulled up or fallen, leaving Exhaustion to canter home with some margin to spare. A thrilling contest, if the macabre and absurd gets your adrenalin going, but the sponsors, Gillette Super Surgical Scalpel, announced directly after the race that it would be ceasing any further involvement. It is to be hoped that no other sponsor will be found willing to take up any further interest in an event of this nature.

So, it`s back to business on the level playing fields of the beautiful game. This trader is happy to say he will be delighted to enjoy your company once more in the chat room this Saturday, 6th January.

Stay healthy. Stay green!






Published in humour
Tuesday, 07 November 2017 07:26

Pirlo the pearl


The Italian midfield maestro, Andrea Pirlo has played his last game for New York City and has officially retired from football period. One of the greatest midfield players to grace a football pitch he was one of the few who truly gave meaning to the phrase "the beautiful game". It is fittingly appropriate that I am taking time to reflect on the genius of this player at a time when England`s manager Gareth Southgate announced that due to Harry Winks` injury Jake Livermore of West Brom will take up the creative midfield responsibilities in this Friday`s friendly with Germany. Yeah, right.

This is a timely reminder - not only to Southgate - but to all English fans that technique is not the sole attribute required to perform at the highest level. You also need intelligence. The title of Pirlo`s recently published autotbiography - "I think therefore I play" - is instructive in this debate. This is Descartes not Del Boy. "Football is played with the head," Pirlo once shrugged. "The feet are just the tools." The headline image of this piece illustrates the point as Pirlo is surrounded by three bamboozled, toiling English players but seems to have all the time in the world as others were charging about with little purpose or clarity of thought.

The man had style with substance, coolness and panache. Steven Gerrard (who would probably misread that last word as pancake) in a post match interview after the 2005 Champions League semi-final churlishly said that Pirlo`s nutmeg on him when AC Milan were 3-0 up was "disrespectful".  Jealousy, Steven, is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius. The Italian had the last word, however, when in the 2012 Euros quarter-final penalty shoot out, Pirlo executed the panenka pen. Not only did it show ultimate composure and strength of character but it dealt a psychological blow to goalkeeper Joe Hart and totally changed the dynamic of that shoot-out. Ruthless but stylish.

While most footballers on reaching retirement consider staying in the game as a coach or pundit, Pirlo has stated that he will turn his hand to winegrowing rather than playmaking. He also expressed his desire to play more tennis, copying the sportsman he most admires, Roger Federer, a man who also wears the crown of sultan of suave.

Maybe I`m being too hard on Gerrard and his ilk. Maybe the poetry in motion that Pirlo epitomised cannot be taught. Yet what the English players can learn from this most sublime of football players is that one vital ingredient of genius is patience. Pirlo also added to the mix the qualities of skill, technique, beauty and poise. A legend.

This month`s Top Trader prize will not be £15 but a copy of Andrea Pirlo`s autobiography

 pirlo book


Published in trading
Thursday, 18 May 2017 11:17



Who can forget the iconic image in The Godfather of two dead fishes that were sent to the Corleone family.  Naive Michael is told that Luca Brazzi now sleeps with the fishes. He has been murdered.

What gambler can forget those moments in football history where something definitely smelled fishy? In general most instances of corruption have been connected to gambling syndicates who bribe players and/or officials for financial gain. Other cases invole collusion between teams in games where relegation or promotion matters are involved. 

Let`s take a look at some of them:

  • In 2013 two Nigerian promotion play-off games ended 79-0 and 67-0!! Plateau United Feeders and the bizarrely named Police Machine went into the matches level on points, with promotion to the lowest tier of the Nationwide League Division at stake. The Feeders scored 72 of their goals in the second half, while Police Machine reportedly scored 61 times after the break in their game.


  • In 2005 a £1.7 million match-fixing scandal centred on second-division referee Robert Hoyzer, who admitted fixing matches for a Croat betting ring. Four years later, investigators from an organised crime task force in Bochum uncovered a network that German police believe may have been responsible for fixing as many as 300 matches across Europe.


  • Nigeria’s 4-1 friendly win over Argentina in June 2011. The game featured Premier League players Pablo Zabaleta, John Obi Mikel and Victor Anichebe. With Nigeria leading 4-0, it saw a huge swing on some in-play gambling markets that appeared to anticipate a fifth goal. Referee Ibrahim Chaibou awarded five minutes of stoppage-time but let play carry on until, in the eighth minute of additional play, he wrongly awarded a penalty to Argentina. 


  • Juventus were involved in an Italian match fixing scandal back in 2006 that saw them demoted to Serie B and stripped of their 2005 and 2006 Serie A league titles. Former Juventus director Luciano Moggi was sentenced to five years and four months in prison whilst Fiorentina owners Andrea Della Valle and Diego Della Valle received 15-month prison sentences and a €25,000 fine each. Lazio president Claudio Lotito also suffered a 15-month sentence with €25,000 fine whilst AC Milan executive Leonardo Meani was given a one-year sentence.


Italy seems to have more than its fair share of match fixing allegations. Since 2006 (see above) not a season goes by without whispers of something smelly occuring. So all of this brings me on to tonight`s fixture in Serie B between Cesena v Verona. The draw is priced @ 1.70 and 0-0 & 1-1 are currently trading @ 4.4. The simple explanation is that in this final game of the season Verona need just a point to be promoted. Cesena are in mid-table and have nothing to play for. In fact these two have previous. In 2008/09 Cesena needed a point to guarantee promotion to Serie B. The game ended 0-0

If you want to have a bet then try dutching 0-0 & 1-1

In my earlier trading days I was fascinated by how such "fixing" could be done and profited from. There was one game between Catania v Chievo that cropped up at the end of the season. Here is a video I made of that





Published in trading
Sunday, 18 December 2016 09:57

Sports Trader wins Strictly

2016 Strictly Come Trading Winner

Bingo and his partner Joanne Clifton have lifted the glitterball trophy and been crowned champions in the final of Strictly Come Trading.

The football trader beat finalists Danny Mac and Louise Redknapp to win the 2016 series.

Fifteen contestants had started the competition, with Bingo calling his eventual victory "the most incredible experience of my life".

The trader thanked the Strictly production crew and the judges and told his trading partner Clifton: "I love you with all of my heart. I'm so speechless. I just want to say thank you."

She told him: "You've become a trader. You're a trader."

Bingo entered the competition in November and admitted he was so nervous after backing himself @ 9.8 he exited @ 12.5 . "I lost my nerve", the owner of said. "Cup competitions are really hard to get right and I didn`t want to lose everything, especially my partner who I`m so proud of, my family who expect food to be put on the table and, of course, all the members who have shown such incredible support and faith in me. But something told me to hang in there. The Jive had served me well in the past and if there was an opportunity to get in the box, then I`d have a chance that those flicks & kicks would come good. I`m glad I decided to let it run as lifting the trophy and pocketing £112 means everything to me"

Asked what his plans were now Bingo said nothing had really changed and he was just looking forward to carry on trading as normal.



Published in humour
Thursday, 06 October 2016 09:59

The Junkie Trader


Ok, so you like trading, more the better in fact. Arguably, it is more addictive than plain old punting since with trading there is a measure of intelligence applied. The mental hoops you jump through during a 90min game can be exhilarating, the rewards gained for a winning trade are satisfying of course but even a losing one can be just as pleasurable as any financial gain. You are pitting yourself against some one else (a backer or layer in the Betting Exchange domain) and you can feel that sense of intellectual rigour as you plan and plot the way towards your objective, namely the green screen. Chess and bridge players experience something similar, a competitveness that demands a range of mental and emotional application. There are highs & lows but as traders we have the opportunity to control that graph line. For all those reasons, trading is addictive.

So, the stock answer to the compulsive gambler, the addictive smoker, the self-destructive heroin user, is stop, give it up, go to rehab, find another distraction, take up a less damaging hobby, and the killer - think of the effect your behaviour is having on those around you.

My solution is one that I have touched on in another article. Change your staking levels. If you have the urge to get on one more trade and you haven`t done any reasonable, diligent research then jump in but at reduced stakes. You will simultaneously satisfy the craving but without the potential after effects of financial disaster. This is the precise opportunity where the maxim "don`t gamble with more than you can afford to lose" comes into play.

Published in mindset
Monday, 03 October 2016 09:29

Goalkeeper howler


A change in fortunes yesterday as the Asian Handicap trade on Nice v Lorient came good. 1-0 after 11 mins and we cleared liability to effectively leave a free bet. All that was required was that Nice at least hold their advantage or better still, score another. Lorient had other ideas, however, and equalised early in the 2nd half. I gave a half-hearted gallic shrug (such as has been my form recently) but Mario Balotelli of all people put the souris back on my mug with a 86th min winner. The numpty got himself sent off in injury time but the trade held up for 0.25 pt profit.



What a game! What a trade!

Published in humour
Friday, 30 September 2016 16:13

Barcelona v Celtic 7:0

Brendan Rodgers (aka Darren Farley) in the post match interview after Celtic were thrashed 7-0 by Barcelona considers his side were unlucky not to win the game. 


Published in humour

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